Wars Within
by KarateSunshine
Summary: What does it take to live? What does it take to survive? How do you cope with what's lost and gained?
1. Chapter 1

I was burning alive and had long since given up on the hope that death would release me. Ignoring the pain was impossible.

As my flesh was seared rigid and I cooked in my skin, I couldn't move or writhe or scream myself away from it. There was no one to comfort me, no hope for relief and no answers for my questions. As time went on, the fire only grew more violent and my heart and consciousness never faltered.

Nothing existed before this pain and it seemed like nothing ever would. It was so difficult to focus on anything other than burning alive. I screamed internally to every entity I knew of for mercy, for answers. What had I done to deserve this? Was this hell? Had I died from this pain only to relive those moments for all eternity? It'd already felt like several had passed.

My heartbeat sped up considerably as the moments passed. My blood was hot, rushing furiously in my ears. My heart began to siphon the fire; gradually pulling the flames from my fingers and toes. I was left with a dull tingle that crept up my calves and prickled my neck. My back began to arch unnaturally as the flames condensed in my chest. After several moments, my heart stuttered and slowed.

I could've wept in joy from the sudden change. As my heart rate slowed to only a few beats per minute, I regained movement in my limbs and an awareness of my environment. I could feel the cool breeze scatter leaves across my skin. I could smell pollen, topsoil and tree bark in the air and was vaguely aware of several small insects tugging at the curls in my hair.

The heels of my bare feet dug into the warm damp earth as my spine fell out of its arch and my heart gave a final thump before going silent. I felt insanely disoriented and relieved as I settled onto the soft ground. I was sure I'd never been more comfortable than I was at that moment. Opening my eyes hesitantly, daylight assaulted my vision, though I lay mostly shaded from the sun's glare.

Hesitantly rising to my feet, I looked around, marvelling at the amount of detail I saw. I could see clearly every crease in the leaves and distinguish the grains in the branches on the tall trees surrounding me. I was aware of the wet scuttling produced by the critters in the fallen tree husks. Walking through the streams of light peeking between the leaves, I was startled to find it reflecting off my skin. My pale olive skin tone glittered and shined almost blindingly bright.

As I took a deep breath, I noticed how unnecessary it felt. I held my breath experimentally for a short while and though vaguely uncomfortable, my body wasn't screaming at me for the function. It felt more like I had detached myself from sensing anything around me. Growing bored with my experiment, I allowed myself to breathe and taste the air. I could pinpoint the smell of moss and ripe berries I'd crushed beneath my feet. An incessant buzzing and sweet aroma emitting from deep within a hollowed tree several yards away. I might have claimed that I felt at peace if it weren't for the growing scratchy heat that throbbed in my throat. I couldn't swallow the raw feeling away. But who was I to complain? It was a tickle compared to my previous state.

I shuddered at the memory, then froze when no others came to mind. I had no recollection of getting here or even where this forest was located. My name... My age… It's very unnerving to suddenly become so unsure of yourself and in such an unfamiliar place. _Okay, step by step. What do I know?_

Suffice it to say I was dead. What with the lack of a heartbeat and extraordinary senses. So what sort of afterlife had I ended up in? Was the fire I felt my punishment in purgatory? If this were my own little version of Heaven, shouldn't someone have been welcoming me right about now? God should seriously reconsider throat discomfort and confusion as part of the Heavenly Welcome Package. Maybe I'd been reincarnated.

As the wind shifted, it wafted a scent so unexpected; disinfectant. The sudden sound of a tree limb breaking made me pause. I couldn't hear a heartbeat or smell anything aside from the harsh chemicals. The wind wasn't strong enough now to cause the sound. Angling my back away from the possible threat, I moved cautiously away from the area.

"That won't be necessary just yet." A smooth masculine voice murmured from a few yards away; hidden from sight.

Curiosity would be my downfall, it made me hesitate. "Who are you?" My voice sounded steadier than I felt.

"A friend." He was closer now but I hadn't heard him move. "My name is Peter."

"Did you bring me here? How did you find me?"

A pale, lean man, roughly 6'3, with close-cut silver-blonde hair and dark red eyes emerged from a thicket of tightly knit trees. He was a handsome guy dressed in dark trousers and boots with an evergreen button up shirt.

Gazing at me curiously, he spoke. "You're surprisingly even-tempered..." His look turned thoughtful.

"Yes…? For now." I answered uncertainly.

He smirked at me, seemingly amused. "What is your name?"

"Uhm…" _Could I outrun this guy? What would be a good weapon?_

"Trouble remembering? It happens." He spoke nonchalantly as he moved a step closer to me; his arms at his sides. "Does 'Dorothy' sit well with you? Jane Doe seems a little too…cliché."

The crinkle near his eyes confirmed he was having fun. He unsettled me so I agreed for the sake of moving things along. "What do you want? Why are you here?"

"Aren't you curious why _you're_ here?" I grew weary of his deflection and was sure he could see it since he elaborated. "I'm here to answer any questions you may have and guide you from there."

"Why did I wake up in a forest? What happened to me? Where are we?" I rattled off, barely holding in my irritation.

"A small forest within the mountains surrounding Monterrey, Mexico. You were in an accident; in the wrong place at the wrong time." He'd taken two steps closer to me as he spoke and I promptly renewed our distance.

"Care to continue?" I hissed scornfully. "What sort of accident?" _If he wasn't a serial killer, I'd be surprised. I wasn't sure I could outrun him if it came down to it. Hell, I plan to run regardless if he provokes me but the chances were slim to none I could fight him off if he caught me..._

"Helloooo!" _Yup, definitely couldn't fight him off._ I noticed the weight and force of his hands smacking together as he attempted to regain my attention. He moved to close the distance between us again as he spoke. Again, I stepped back. "Christ, you newborns are so easily distracted."

 _Great, the serial killer was irritated._

"As I was saying, the accident you're curious about? Before I begin, if you haven't already figured it out, you're dead; technically. That is to say, you're no longer human. Your death was the result of the transformation concluding. And that transformation was the result of the accident." He paused, seeming to analyze my reaction to him.

I'm sure I fully showcased how lost and agitated I was and appearing to be satisfied with that, he continued. "I was assigned to accompany a handful of newborns on a hunting trip. The size of the party determines the area in which we feed. That evening we were headed towards a small rural town just outside of the city, as to not draw attention to ourselves. Unfortunately for you, we came across yours and your companions scent along a hiking trail, unavailable to the public. Once an appealing scent is detected mid-hunt it's near impossible to stop until our prey is captured. Your male companions scent was...more appealing, as he was promptly subdued by 3 of our group. The other two fought over you, destroying themselves in the process. You'd been bitten and injured quite severely before their territorial dispute, hence your current existence. Our leader Maria was none too happy to hear of the loss to her faction and ordered you to be either recruited or destroyed. So I'd suggest you adapt very quickly if you choose to live. I can't honestly say which would be the better option..."

I was stunned. _I died; violently... Someone I'd known had suffered and died along with me... Who was he to me? What else had I lost and couldn't remember?_ I was alone and unsure of myself. As bitter as I was about these events, I resolved to gain everything beneficial to my survival.

"What're newborns, exactly?" I asked grimly. That seemed like the best place to start.

"Those new to the life of the undead. Generally lacking in self-control and rationalization. Most are too irritable and insatiable with bloodlust to focus. They're stronger and faster than those who've been around longer. After a year, the remaining human blood in your body will've been used up, causing those attributes to wane."

I struggled to keep the elation from my face. _I was stronger than him! Faster! I could stand a chance at escaping…_

He could tell where my thoughts went. There was now a cold look in his eye and clenching of his jaw muscles.

"Regardless of what I've said, there are still only two options for you. One of them is not escaping. I wouldn't try it." A coldness crept into his voice that put me on edge. I knew he meant it. I needed to know what I'd be getting myself into.

"You mentioned recruiting me? For what purpose?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reads, reviews, follows and favourites. It makes me so happy that you're enjoying this. Please feel free to give me feedback and such. Be well, peeps. :3**

Peter was studying me. His eyes roamed over my face as he mimicked my body language.

"You remind me of someone… You're both equally infuriating." His smirk softened the insult but not by much. "I wouldn't ask as many questions when we get back to camp so I hope you're getting everything out now…" A grimace replaced his smirk.

I was just as comfortable standing as I'd been lying down moments ago so I nodded for him to continue.

"To begin, you need to know that those of our kind are at war with each other. We cannot co-exist without mayhem. Feuding, lust and conquering seem to be in our blood; so to speak. For those reasons, it's helpful to organize in groups for protection. Those who crave more than just survival, power, for instance, organize strategically in order to acquire more territory. The broader your territory, the larger your benefits. Food, respect, or fear, security… Maria and her army have gained control of the majority of Texas and Northern Mexico. You are being recruited to this army. And yes, you'll be expected to destroy and defend others of your kind." He deadpanned before I could speak.

"You will be rewarded if you do well. Speaking of, it's refreshing to be able to carry on a conversation without someone becoming volatile or increasingly listless. I'd say that's worthy of a reward. You must be famished."

His words triggered a fiery response within my throat. The previously raw itchiness of before was now completely inflamed and intolerable. I clutched my throat in discomfort.

"You're thirsty." He replied simply. "Let's get you fed." He stepped to the side and gazed towards the Northeast. "We'll be travelling in this direction towards town. The sun is low enough now that we should be able to go near without drawing attention to ourselves."

 _Why is that such a priority?_

"I need to hold onto you while we travel to ensure you don't venture off. You move, you lose. Got it?"

He didn't wait for my affirmation and began walking slowly toward me, maintaining eye contact as he did. He made no sudden movements as his hand reached my arm but I was still on edge.

 _He wouldn't kill me. I wouldn't allow it._

His fingers slide into the crook of my elbow and I marvelled at the smoothness of his velvety skin.

The tightening of his grip broke me out of my quiet assessment and he moved with exaggerated slowness to stand next to me. I looked up at him, barely reaching his shoulder. The sun reflected off of his skin as it did mine and for a moment, I was lost in the surrealness of it. Unthinkingly, my eyes roamed over the shimmering facets of his cheeks.

His eyes, having never left me, were cautious and scrutinizing. "The sun." His voice was clear and neutral. "This is why we only travel at night. Remaining undetected is a very important thing."

He gestured toward the North. "Let's go."

We began walking, gradually picking up our pace to a jog, then to a full-on sprint. I had no trouble keeping up with him. I felt I could've gone faster him if he hadn't still gripped my arm. I was powerful and tireless; so exhilarated and unburdened racing around the trees. I couldn't help the grin that formed on my face and the chuckle that followed as I enjoyed the warmth of the wind blowing through my clothes and hair; the sun's heat against my scalp and back. Before long, I'd lost focus on what the task was.

I forced myself to let him lead me. It was shocking how fast and effortlessly we moved as he guided me along, sidestepping trees and exposed tree roots. They should've been a blur to me but I could see everything with acute clarity. The branches and bushes we tore through barely registered against my skin.

"Hold your breath." He instructed, tightening his hold on me.

A short distance away I could see a small clearing between the trees. Seconds later we sped through the field that only existed due to the destruction of the area. We passed through quickly but I'd caught every detail.

Thick trees lay splintered and broken on the ravaged forest floor. There were deep furrows and odd impressions in the ground that led to what looked like ashes and a thick dark coloured pile of sludge. The ground was blackened only in that area.

"What was that?" I inquired wearily, using up some of my air supply to speak.

He didn't answer immediately and it irked me. " _That_ \- "He spat irritably. "Was the result of Newborns losing focus. The scene and cleanup were luckily easy to contain. The rain was a welcomed surprise."

 _If that was clean I'd hate to see how it-_

I kicked through a small boulder in my sprint instead of hopping over.

I wanted to slow down and started to but Peters sharp tug redirected my attention. I sincerely hoped my memories of that night never come back.

"After the newborns were disposed of," He continued morosely, "I took care of your friend and your belongings then moved you to a fresher area lest you wake up in a frenzy. Incidentally, I salvaged something for you. I'll return it when we reach our destination in a few moments."

I was suddenly overwhelmingly anxious. It would've been so easy for me to give in to the intensity of my emotions if I weren't always immediately distracted by something.

I could hear a faint rhythmic splashing beneath a steady whooshing sound coming from roughly 3 miles away. I could smell a sharp fishy odor coming from that same direction.

The sky was bathed in deep purples and peachy reds when we slowed to a brisk walk. Not too far ahead of me, I could see clusters of twinkling lights and wisps of smoke; a town.

He pulled me down to sit on a narrow dirt bank, within the hills overlooking the town. Partially hidden in the bushes, Peter slipped his free hand into the side of his dark laced boots and removed a small stack of cards, varying in size and appearance. They were held together by a money clip that he delicately removed before handing me the stack. "Be mindful of your grip." He warned, "You're stronger than you realize. Handle them carefully."

I began shuffling through the items but stilled as soon as the pads of my fingers brushed against the crisp material and cracked a corner off. Scowling, I cupped my hand together and let the items slide across the makeshift surface. I singled out a small yellowing rectangle of thick paper. A photograph. Searching for more clues, I gently flipped it over with my nail. Timothy and Dorothy Shale. Dorothy… I gave Peter a withering look.

"I hadn't lied when I said the name fit you." He remarked, unabashed.

Not bothering to give him a reply I returned my attention to the photo. I hoped it was just the atmosphere that day and not the state of my life that brought out the look of misery out of my face.

Timothy appeared completely carefree. _He was young._ I suppose I was too; we didn't look too far apart in age. Early 20's maybe. Ignoring the sense of dread that passed over me, I compared the two images and gauged the possibility of us being related. It seemed likely enough considering I lacked a ring but shared his features.

We had the same thickly coiled dark hair, bronzed skin and full lips. The same sloped nose and sharp bone structure. I felt he was my brother. The tightness in my chest deepened as I stared at his face. His lopsided grin and dimpled cheeks brought a vague memory to mind.

 _I was lying in the soft grass as I stared at the orange-red colour my closed eyelids produced in the setting sun when things suddenly darkened. Opening my eyes, I found a very young Timothy kneeling above my head, hovering over my face. His wide eyes alight with laughter as he beckoned me towards a swing set._

The gentle shaking of my arm brought me back to the present. Peter was gazing at me curiously but I chose to bring my attention back to hands. Acknowledging that I held the only remaining connection to my family, I carefully slid the items into my front pocket, struggling to blink away the prickling sensation in my eyes. I would examine the rest later when I could be alone.

"Close your eyes." Peter said firmly.

I flashed him a doubtful look. _Was this guy serious?_

"If I were going to pull something, I wouldn't care whether or not you were watching." He assured me.

"That isn't nearly as comforting as you think it is."

His responding laugh was loud and deep. "I like you, kid." He said with a wide grin. "I want to keep you around." Sobering up, he stood, grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me with him. "What do you hear?" He began walking us along the darkened dirt path.

I heard everything, so I said as much.

"Try to isolate each sound, then pinpoint the one you feel is out of place in this environment."

I stilled my movements and took in the sounds around me. Tree bark faintly cracked under a creatures sharp landing. I felt the light thud of its feet hit the earth nearly a quarter of a mile away.

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I picked up a warm spiced musk and soft flowery scents in the air. I could faintly taste something salted and tart. I swallowed at the moisture collecting in my mouth and it did little to soothe the dry, itchy, heat of my throat. I was getting annoyed at my discomfort. Ignoring the slow, soft, padding of our feet against the topsoil, I attempted to pinpoint which direction the smell was coming from. I felt the heat of the musky air against my right temple and my body instinctively lowered toward the ground.

Moving as soundlessly as I could, I sprang upward into a tree several yards ahead of me. My fingers pressed the tree bark into a soft pulp as they sunk in to support my frame. A bulky mud speckled mountain lion came into view as I climbed around the trunk and perched myself onto a stable branch.

The feline shook himself, sending bits of hair and dried dirt into the bushes around him. As if it were my own, I could feel his heartbeat pulse around me. Barely registering myself slice through the air, I clawed for his sleek muscled frame and captured him in a cage like grip. I relished the feeling of my teeth sinking deeply into the flesh at his neck as we fell into a roll on the forest floor.

Wave after wave of thick bitter heat filled my mouth. I was too hungry to be disappointed by the taste. It was filling me and I was more than grateful for the relief it brought. As the flow of blood lessened, my grip loosened. I became aware of someone in the area. Peter. His scent was familiar to me now.

I let the animals body leave my arms as I stood and scanned the area.

Peter was sitting, legs crossed, against an uprooted tree a few dozen paces away. He looked...proud? Excited? Mildly disgusted.

His lips twitched as he stood. "You are quite the wild card." His eyes quickly swept over my form as he walked to me. "That was an impressive display. Though this is not what I imagined you might prefer as a meal. It's surprising that you found it at all appetizing."

His scrutiny was confusing and alienating and I felt myself start to shuffle nervously.

He adjusted his gaze then and took a few steps back. "I meant that in the most complimentary way." Noticing my hesitation, he continued. "As I mentioned earlier, maintaining a low profile is imperative. We'll need to properly dispose of this carcass. Burying will do just fine. Humans require more thorough removal methods of which we'll go over in the near future."

My new mentor lowered to the ground. He pressed his arm through the earth as if it were clay and began scooping large mounds of dirt to the side. As he signalled for me to place my meal inside the homemade cavern, I couldn't stop myself from envisioning how I could do anything similar to this with a human.


End file.
